I am of course late in reading & writing about this topic. Very late in fact. It was nearly two years since this book made headlines globally. My daughter read the comments and pressed that I write something about it .
Well, at that time , firstly I have not read the book; secondly, even if I have read it, I was thinking why should I responded to it ? Of course I should feel ' honored ' that my daughter strongly disagreed that Asian mothers are stereotype as the Tiger Mom .
However, I was surprised that I was emotional when reading it, at least the first half portion of the book. When I read about Lulu, I thought about my only daughter who has quite similar temper as Lulu. When I read about the two girls' practise schedule, I was thinking what would happen to my girl if I did that ?
My girl started learning music before she turned 4. I accompanied her through the two years fundamental music. I noticed that she enjoyed music , but no private tutors would take her in individual piano classes until she was almost 6. Then she started individual piano lessons , with music theory.
We had hard time getting her to complete the theory homework sometimes. However she listened and played the music pieces alright . So, we continued the lessons and took the teacher's advice to enter her in music exams, the ABRSM.
The exam pieces practices bored her. I have not pushed her into long hour practising, like what the Tiger Mom did. In fact, I told the teacher that I want her to enjoy music , and it did not matter much if she did not sit for examination.
Now, 20 years later, this book made me wonder whether it would be different if I had pushed her hard like the Tiger Mom ? However, she actually improved excellently after I allowed her to skip examinations. The teacher acknowledged that and would always use her as an example to tell other parents.
As for my second child, my son, I put him through the same fundamental music programme the sisiter went . Accompanied him through the two years, then started him on individual class, walked exactly the same path the sister walked. However, he would be so miserable sitting in front of the piano each week.
After two years, I agreed to stop the individual piano lessons for him , but I was not giving up yet. I signed him up for a different approach in music- a ' play by ear ' program. I was still hoping that he would grow to love the keyboard. No, he did not and we stopped music lessons completely for him.
Then, when he was 18, he asked to pick up guitar lessons, I delightedly sent him to one. Even though that was only for a short term , he did well. He may not have the talent in musical instrument, and we were lucky not to kill his interest in music at least.
So, I actually think the way the Tiger Mom made her daughters practised was 'unthinkable' , even though the results she got was undoubtedly excellent. What her daughters commented about her were true.
As for me, my children's childhood was priority and I do not regret that she does not have the highest degree in music. I know that she plays the piano well, she still enjoys music , and music brings her happiness.
That matters !
However, I was surprised that I was emotional when reading it, at least the first half portion of the book. When I read about Lulu, I thought about my only daughter who has quite similar temper as Lulu. When I read about the two girls' practise schedule, I was thinking what would happen to my girl if I did that ?
My girl started learning music before she turned 4. I accompanied her through the two years fundamental music. I noticed that she enjoyed music , but no private tutors would take her in individual piano classes until she was almost 6. Then she started individual piano lessons , with music theory.
We had hard time getting her to complete the theory homework sometimes. However she listened and played the music pieces alright . So, we continued the lessons and took the teacher's advice to enter her in music exams, the ABRSM.
The exam pieces practices bored her. I have not pushed her into long hour practising, like what the Tiger Mom did. In fact, I told the teacher that I want her to enjoy music , and it did not matter much if she did not sit for examination.
Now, 20 years later, this book made me wonder whether it would be different if I had pushed her hard like the Tiger Mom ? However, she actually improved excellently after I allowed her to skip examinations. The teacher acknowledged that and would always use her as an example to tell other parents.
As for my second child, my son, I put him through the same fundamental music programme the sisiter went . Accompanied him through the two years, then started him on individual class, walked exactly the same path the sister walked. However, he would be so miserable sitting in front of the piano each week.
After two years, I agreed to stop the individual piano lessons for him , but I was not giving up yet. I signed him up for a different approach in music- a ' play by ear ' program. I was still hoping that he would grow to love the keyboard. No, he did not and we stopped music lessons completely for him.
Then, when he was 18, he asked to pick up guitar lessons, I delightedly sent him to one. Even though that was only for a short term , he did well. He may not have the talent in musical instrument, and we were lucky not to kill his interest in music at least.
So, I actually think the way the Tiger Mom made her daughters practised was 'unthinkable' , even though the results she got was undoubtedly excellent. What her daughters commented about her were true.
As for me, my children's childhood was priority and I do not regret that she does not have the highest degree in music. I know that she plays the piano well, she still enjoys music , and music brings her happiness.
That matters !
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